The big love day is approaching. And with it, as with any celebration, comes different emotions and triggers for different people; for some anticipation, for others pain, and for others perhaps indifference. But why is Valentine’s Day such a big deal? Most people would agree that we have somewhat of an intrinsic need to love and be loved. Psychologists have called it one of humanity’s “basic needs” that if left unfulfilled leads to a range of psychological disturbances. Studies have shown that an infant whose physical needs of food and shelter are met, yet is not given some form of love and affection, may actually die. So what is it in us that makes love such an essential need? And what is love anyways?
It’s always easier to define physical objects. If I told you I had a flat surface that is held up with four legs that I use to set my computer on, you will easily guess that I’m describing my desk. But how do you describe “love”? What is it? Can it be limited to the chemical reactions that can be detected in one’s brain when in that state called “love”?
And is the love that we experience the same as that which animals feel for one another or towards their offspring? What makes our “love” different?
What complicates the matter even more is the limitations of language. I love my husband. I love my children. And I love pasta. My love for my husband and children undoubtedly far surpass my love for pasta, but I still use the same word. You get the point.
We can’t define it, we can’t describe it.
Yet this indescribable thing that means so much to us; that can be so satisfying beyond the constraints of language, also seems to be the reason for most of the heartache we experience. Broken marriages, soaring divorce rates, shattered relationships, you name it.
We can’t define it, we can’t describe it.
We know it’s a need, that few seem to feed.
It can take us to the highest heights, or bring about the darkest nights.
Sounds like one of those things that you can’t live with and can’t live without!
I did a survey recently about “what it means to be human” and the word “love” often popped up. Then I asked, “Why can people be so unloving towards one another?” and the overwhelming response was: selfishness. Humans only think of themselves and what fulfills their own needs and will remove anything or anyone who gets in the way of their fulfilling their needs. Unfortunately, I had to agree. This is the grim reality. We live with a “it’s all about me” mentality. So could it be that we rarely find satisfying love because we can’t offer it ourselves? And neither can anyone else, because we’re all too selfish?
We can’t define it, we can’t describe it.
We know it’s a need, that few seem to feed.
It can take us to the highest heights, or bring about the darkest nights.
We selfishly await it, yet can’t reciprocate it.
Looks like a pretty grim picture.
Could it be that it’s so grim because we’re trying to define something infinite using finite words, to describe it using finite language, to fulfill it using finite creatures; to satisfy an infinite need using finite means?
Could C.S. Lewis have been right when he wrote, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world?”
Could it be that we were created in the image an infinite Being and are scrambling to satisfy our infinite needs using finite materials or beings that will never suffice? Could it be that this Being has or is the very definition of love that we have so much trouble defining? Could we have been created for something so much bigger than what our physical eyes see?
Love is His composition, for He is love by definition.
He loved from the eternal past, a love that was immeasurably vast.
He loved us into existence, with an inexplicable kind of persistence.
We foolishly rejected His love, failing to look above.
He knew that nothing would suffice, except the ultimate sacrifice.
With a love that knows no limit, He gave up His spirit.
His death gave us breath, His life cured our strife.
In Him we are finally satisfied, for He has made us His perfect bride.
We need not look elsewhere, for we would be beating the air.
His love is so gratifying, that nothing else is satisfying.
In Him we have being, and that is so freeing.
If you are reading this and have never experienced this kind of love, I invite you to ask God to reveal Himself to you. If you’re not sure He exists, honestly ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a way that you can relate to.
And for those of us who have experienced His love, may the love of Christ compel us to share His love this Valentine’s Day (2 Cor. 5:14).
His love never fails.